“Don’t worry, be happy”, the lyrics of a song by Bobby McFerrin play in my head. Twenty-two years ago, when the song first came out, I was numb to its implications. Now, I can’t get the tune out of my mind. It’s funny how perception changes, if I let it.
I love people who are bubbly, always smiling, upbeat, chatty, but not too chatty. I love to see kids laughing and having fun. I wish I was like that. I’m the quiet type, serious, reserved and quite frankly, not much fun.
Vision number one: I see myself smiling as I go about my day, happily humming a tune in my head, being happy for no reason, no matter what is happening around me.
Many years ago, I thought happiness came in a glass bottle with a label. The more I took, the happier I became. And then one day, IT took me. One time, I thought happiness came in a big house with a pool. When I moved in, happiness must have moved next door. But, do you know what I really think? I think I’ll be happy when I’m healthy and rid of this rheumatoid disease.
Wait a minute, why can’t I be happy NOW? Right now, in the midst of illness, in the midst of poverty and struggle. I could be happily ill, happily poor and happily struggling. Couldn’t I? In his book, “Happiness Now”, Robert Holden states that happiness is an inner potential. I already have happiness! What a revelation! I don’t have to wait, or go shopping, or live in a big house; I can have all the happiness I want, now! It’s my choice!
But really, how can I be happy if I feel miserable, stressed out, worried and in pain? My situation is real, you know. No living in some fairy tale here. I have real important things to worry about. I know, because my mind keeps telling me so. It says things like; you’ll never amount to much, you don’t have any education or qualifications, you don’t have any talents, you don’t have anything to contribute, you’re not good enough, and on and on it goes. In her book, “The Law of Attraction Plain and Simple”, Sonia Ricotti calls these negative thoughts our inner saboteur. My inner saboteur makes me feel small and unworthy. Sonia has a remedy for that. She says, slam the door on self-limiting thoughts and beliefs because they make you feel miserable. I love it! I have a picture in my mind of taking that door in my hand and flinging it shut while saying, “I’m going to be happy, damn it, good-bye, thank you very much”! And even though, I can barely walk today because the RA inflammation is so great, I’m going to think and feel like I have a spring in my step. When I loose site of my vision to be happy, I’ll stop and ask myself this question, “Who (not what) stands in the way of the happiness in you right now, that is buried under the crap?” Then I’ll slam the door!
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