Learning about Love: Day 43

Pink (blurry) flower.

I love having blog-neighbours! Each one of you elevates me with your beautiful inspiring comments. I feel much better today. Thank you all.

I think I see how I got off track over the last while.

First off, my focus shifted. Activities I really like to do and that energize me took a back seat to activities that drain me and that I don’t like all that much.  I moved away from the path that makes me the happiest.

Second, as I mentioned in yesterday’s post, I let negative thoughts about my life affect my feelings. Thoughts such as, “My life should be better than it is. I should have a successful career by now. Everyone zooms past me. I shouldn’t have to live below the poverty level. I should have better health by now. My life’s been the same forever. Will I ever “make it”?”

Waaah. Waaah. Waaah. Whew! It’s exhausting! The mind is so funny.

I think I hear Byron Katie utter, “Can you find a stress-free reason to keep those thoughts?”

“No, Katie,  I don’t think I can.”

In response to Linda Willows comment on yesterday’s post, I wrote, “When I look back over my entire life, I realize that on one level, not much has changed. Although I live my life in a more conscious way now, sometimes I feel that I’m just doing the same things only with more awareness. The actual state or external conditions of my life is exactly as they were all those years ago. Sometimes, I wonder about fate. Could it really be possible that we choose our life before birth. I wonder what others think about this.”

Fate? Destiny? Could this be the mind’s attempt to explain why I’m not where I think I should be.

Later, I went to visit Cathy at Treatment Talk. Her post, 25 Quotes From Cheryl Strayed, Author of “Wild”, got me thinking that maybe my external life hasn’t changed much because I haven’t challenged myself enough.  Maybe I need to do something way way outside my comfort zone. I don’t know. I think it’s worth pondering.

Cheryl Strayed, hiked the Pacific Crest Trail, alone. Cathy’s daughter ventured to a wilderness camp and spent one of the night’s in the wilderness. All. By. Herself.  Wow!

What do you think? Does your life change much? Have you done anything that’s way outside your comfort zone? Any thoughts on fate? Destiny?


14 thoughts on “Learning about Love: Day 43

  1. such a great subject brought up today, “getting out of one’s comfort zone”. I like the way that you linked it to things exterior and outer patterns of change seeming somewhat similar over long periods of time. I used to see leaving the “comfort zone” as similar to leaving home and the security of the “known” to be willing to risk the unknown. Wonderful Post today, Love too you, Linda

    • Thanks for the great comment, Linda. I focused on interior change thinking that would show up on the outside. While I see small changes occurring, especially in the area of opportunities (which I gratefully acknowledge), maybe I have to shake things up a bit and push the boundaries further. I know an opportunity will present as long as I’m open and allowing. Can’t wait to see what show’s up. Wishing you a wonderful week, Linda and much love to you. 🙂

  2. From your friendly blog-neighbourhood - -we are truly alive when we are outside our comfort zone or zones! Life changes and we change with or because of it – when time is right … everything has its time … but you already know that!
    Take Care,

    • “…everything has its time.” I do know that as you mentioned Daniela and impatience is helping me to forget.lol! As I mentioned to Linda Willows, I can’t wait to see what appears. Thank you for the comment, Daniela. Wishing you a wonderful week as well. 🙂

  3. I, too, love blogging neighbors. In fact, I’ve got two literally coming into town to visit this week, from two different parts of the US. Gotta LOVE blogging. At any rate, it’s a challenge to manage multiple priorities–thus my absence from your blog over the weekend. Life is too busy sometimes!

    • That’s wonderful news about visiting blog neighbors, Kathy. I definitely know what you mean about life being too busy sometimes. It seems to be the case for all of us. So, we just do what we can. No worries. Wishing you a fun week with your visiting blog neighbors. Love to you, Kathy. 🙂

  4. Wow, lots to ponder here. Too many questions, Marianne, I’ll be responding with pages. 😉 My biggest problem is my anxiety. I’m always fearing something bad about to happen, most especially regarding my health. I’ve been beating myself up for having this fear, because I know stressing out can manifest the very fears I fear! Or, something like that. I’m trying to learn to embrace the fears and just be … I mean, we do have human emotions and it’s difficult to just make them disappear. Personally, I think we must face the emotion first, before we say goodbye to it. Perhaps acknowledge those feelings, thank them for being a part of us so we learn compassion for others, and then try to change our thought pattern from there? Who knows, but I’m really tired of dealing with anxiety. I too, have thought about doing something out of my comfort zone because of my fears, but I’m actually happy with my life the way it is. I’m just battling with how to qualm my anxieties.
    I wish I could help you with this quandary further, but I think many people can relate and are also not sure what to do. You aren’t alone, and it’s okay to feel the way you do. Give yourself permission. Learning about love means loving yourself no matter what you’re feeling.
    I told you this would go on forever. As far as life not turning out the way it was planned, I wrote a post about that a while ago. Link is below in case you’re interested.

    • Thanks Lori. I read your blog at the link you provided. A fireplace? That’s hilarious! Your life sounds wonderful. I doubt that you’d want to switch with me.That’s the kind of life I want (I think) (without the husband) (she says laughing).

      Anxiety is a tough one, Lori. I know because I dealt with a huge amount myself, especially in regards to my son. It was absolutely all consuming. It’s much much better now. It doesn’t have the hold on me anymore. Have you read Anita Moorjani’s book, “Dying to be Me”? The book in itself didn’t cure my anxiety; however, after reading it, I felt an increased calmness about health and relationships.

      Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts (and the link), Lori. Wishing you a wonderful week and thanks for being a blog-neighbor. 🙂

      • Thanks for reading my link, Marianne. It’s been said that if a group of people would get together with all of their problems and throw them on a table, and they were offered to take someone else’s life instead of their own, they’d pick their own problems right back up again. We’re used to dealing with the issues we already have, and wouldn’t know what to do with someone else’s.Anyway, I figure, we’re both right where we’re supposed to be. 🙂
        Still working on my anxiety over here. 😛

        • I wholeheartedly agree, Lori. While I was reading your blog post, I got the feeling of safety and security. I think it’s that safe and secure feeling I want and feel I don’t have in my life. Wow! These last few days have really been eye-opening for me. I have lots to work on. Thanks again for sharing the link, Lori.

    • Hi Lessandragr, thank you for the question. Where I think I should be isn’t my reality at the moment and I realized the mind habit I have surfaces now and then to take me out of being present to my reality at any given moment. It doesn’t serve me to attach to the thoughts that surface because when I do I get depressed and complain and this doesn’t make sense for me to live this way any longer. Thanks for reading and commenting Lessandragr. Wishing you a wonderful week. 🙂

  5. A lot to think about here, Marianne. I have Cheryl Strayed’s book on my reading list. I’ve been pondering a long hike (or pilgrimage) of my own, something to get me out of my comfort zone. I’ve started with little things, hoping to work my way up to the bigger stuff.

    As for fate or destiny… I dunno. I am beginning to believe we all have lessons we’re here to learn. I find myself in repeating patterns (“vicious cycles”) until something clicks, and I learn whatever lesson was involved. I wish there was a way to short-cut. 🙂

    Thank you for another thought-provoking post. 🙂

    • Hi Robin, I wish there was a way to short-cut as well. Fast-track to enlightenment could probably be a best seller. Lol! Today, I met with a spiritual teacher who agreed to take me as her student. We had a really great talk about how I can begin to move through my issues. The things I’ve been going through are repeating patterns as well. I’m really happy to have understanding blog-neighbours. Sometimes, writing about my experiences really helps me to process and move on. You are doing such excellent work Robin. I really admire your resolve. You are a real inspiration to me. All my blog-neighbours are really wonderful people. I feel grateful to have every one of them. Wishing you a wonderful week, Robin. 🙂

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