I’m All Pooped Out!

While it is true that I’m experiencing more frequent elimination due to the antibiotics the doc prescribed, it wasn’t the instigation for my choice of title. No, that would be rude.

When I say, “I’m all pooped out,” I mean I’m tired. Exhausted. Drained. I think I remember my dad used that expression. I hope he meant he was tired.

It’s tax season here in Canada, eh? And although I wouldn’t call myself a hard-core tax preparer, I have been helping-out (somewhat) more than usual in between RA flare-ups and other health diagnoses.

So, what I’m really trying to say, is that I’ve spent more time away from my computer during the last month and a half and haven’t been able to keep up with the blog-neighbors and Facebook friends, for that matter.

This means, I’m lagging behind on all the news and I’m not sure where to start to get caught up being that tax time is gearing up for the final eight days starting on Monday and I’m still not feeling up to the challenge.

I did, however, take some time to kick-back, read Anita’s Moorjani’s book, Dying to be ME and write a review this weekend. I posted it on my other WordPress blog, Miracle Mama. If you have time, you may want to check it out. It’s sooo inspiring!

In the meanwhile, I hope everyone is well and I look forward to catching up soon.

Thanks for visiting and feel free to catch me up on what I’ve missed.

I have an important announcement!

I’m so excited to share with you a really really amazing miracle story. I know that some of you have subscribed to my other blog, Miracle Mama so you likely have already received an email announcing a new post titled, The Miracle of Anita Moorjani.

This announcement is for those of you who are not subscribed to Miracle Mama. I want to let you know about this story as well because, as I mentioned, it’s really really amazing. So, here’s the link to, The Miracle of Anita Moorjani.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! As always, please feel free to share and comment. Thank you so much for all your support. I feel very blessed to share this information.

In the End, Only Love Matters

Life lesson 20,622.

Some of my blog readers know that seven months ago, I experienced a serious health emergency due to rheumatoid arthritis and/or RA drug induced complications (click here to read).

The events that occurred on that day as well as the two months that followed turned into a life altering experience that I haven’t shared much about.

I’m ready to share now.

The story goes like this: In 2009, I realized that while it was true that I was breathing, I wasn’t really living. For years, I wasn’t engaged with Life. On the outside, I went through the motions doing the things I had to do each day. On the inside, life was hard, full of disappointments and burdens. There wasn’t much about life that impressed me.

Something had to change. Being stuck in the drudgery was no longer an option. I had to find a way to live happily engaged to loving Life.

So, I began this blog in 2010, called it “Grandeurvision” with the sub-heading “a woman’s journey to a meaningful life” and set out to change my life.

Throughout 2010, good fortune came my way. I was able to experience coaching by a couple of really great life coaches. I attended some very empowering workshops and met some really awesome positive people (including blog neighbors).

Headed in the right direction, life was changing. I felt enthusiastic about living.

Unbeknown to me, the best was yet to come.

The best was the serious health emergency that occurred seven months ago. That’s when the “full monty”, “the whole nine yards” came to light.

The shock, at first, felt like I ran into a brick wall. My world suddenly stopped. There was nothing to do, except lie in the hospital bed. It was the closest I’d ever come to death.

Funny thing is, I lived most of the years prior not really wanting to live. Now, I had a close to death experience. It called my name to say, “Pay attention here, Marianne, this is really important.”

So—I was lying in my hospital bed in the cardiac ward unable to sleep at 4 a.m. when the man in the bed next to me began talking in his sleep. I listened intently to hear what he was saying, but disappointed to realize it sounded like gibberish. In fact, it sounded totally alien, like he was having a bubbly conversation with a being from another planet. His pitch rose and lowered in a melodious kind of way.

It seemed like his conversation went on for a really long time. Eventually, the night nurse heard him. She went to his bedside, called his name several times while gently nudging him. Still dazed, he mumbled something about the bathroom. He wasn’t able to stand up, so the nurse called other nurses to help sit him on the commode.

The nurses had him half out of his bed when he collapsed into unconsciousness. A code blue alerted hospital staff and within seconds  a team of  8 or 10 health care workers arrived with equipment to resuscitate him. It took an awfully long time to stabilize him. Then, they moved him to the intensive care unit where his needs would be cared for better.

Throughout the entire time, I was in the next bed, shaking and praying to God, “Please don’t let him die.”

This is where the “attention” part came in.

Within a handful of days, two serious life and death situations  presented; one that happened to me (hence the reason I was in the hospital in the cardiac ward) and one that I witnessed (the man in the next bed).

It was as if Life would make sure I wouldn’t miss this lesson. I was afraid that I would die and I was afraid the man in the bed next to me would die. In the grip of the fear of death, a  gift emerged. It was a clear realization that I wanted to Live and I wanted the man next to me to Live.

The experience opened my eyes to view Life differently.

Life is no longer about having stuff, doing stuff or being a “somebody”. Life is about the fact that I’m being Life Itself. I’m not Marianne living Marianne’s little life. I’m Life acting out Life through a physical body experiencing events. I’m experiencing Life living and being Life. It’s the most sacred thing I’ve ever felt.

On a sensation level, the shift in perception is huge. On a thinking, writing or speaking level, the shift can hardly be explained.

It doesn’t matter what I’m doing or what I’m having. It doesn’t matter whether this body is diseased or healthy. All that matters is that I’m living and loving in this moment. That’s all that matters.

By pleading and praying for the man in the bed next to me, I was loving him — a man who was a total stranger. I wanted the same for him that I wanted for myself — Life. I wanted Life for both of us.

Microsoft Images

While we are here, experiencing Life in this body, it is a privilege and an honor to spend time with others, to share, to give, to help.

In the end, when faced with death, all that really matters is how loving and kind we were to ourselves and to others.

Is it really possible to live with the awareness of this truth in each and  every moment?

A day in a life with rheumatoid Arthritis – Part 8: What Do I Do Now?

Holy moly, I give up. Why is it, just when you think things are going good, something happens to burst the bubble?

The blog post I planned to write last week was to say good-bye to “A day in the life with RA” titles. Yes indeed, it felt so great that symptoms were at an all-time low. I decided that I would not focus on RA any longer in blog posts, in fact, I made the declaration to not even think or talk about RA. I would seal my lips and never utter another word on the topic.

But. Those thoughts quickly vanished. It started on Thursday evening when I suddenly realized that my eyes felt very scratchy and bothered by light.

In the morning, I called the optometrist and went to her office right away to get my eyes checked. The exam showed they were extremely dry and the tear glands were somewhat clogged. The optometrist indicated that “dry eye” is one of the symptoms of RA as well as with other autoimmune disease conditions. “Oh joy”, I thought.

I left the office with instructions and lubricating drops.

In addition to the dry eye, my throat was extremely dry and the inflammation level was up significantly in my feet and ankles. Getting around was tougher than normal. I thought back to what I had to eat the previous day. Hmm, that’s the day I decided to try an omelet. It had been about three months since I’ve eaten eggs. Maybe that accounts for the flare-up, I reckoned.

Over the weekend, the inflammation in my feet and ankles seemed to subside a bit, I think. However, who knows why, but Monday brought increased inflammation again.

Today was the kicker though. Today, Miss Hop Along was escorted arm in arm by two of the tenants who live in my building after they saw me inching my way from the parking lot after getting out of my car.

See the squirrel climb the wall.

Hmm, I thought back over my diet of the last few days and wondered if it was the pecans in the gluten, dairy, egg and sugar-free muffins I’ve been eating. Maybe I’m sensitive to nuts. Maybe I am a nut.

Or, maybe the increase in symptoms is due to the fish oil supplement I began taking recently because it’s recommended to reduce inflammation.

I just don’t know. And, quite frankly, this is getting ridiculous.

I’m at the point where I ask myself, “What do I do now?”.

In my last post three weeks ago, I mentioned a much improved situation with test results to back it up (click here to read).

Now, I feel as though in reality, the dietary changes did nothing. Could it be that my body is reacting finally to the gradual decrease in prednisone by becoming more inflammed? Who can really say for sure why my symptoms improved and now seem to show little improvement.

So, do I scrap it all or do I keep going?

I can’t let my rheumatologist hear about this setback. I can see the glimmer in her eye as she says, “So, are you ready to try the new RA drug I recommended to you way back in September? You know, the one that is a IL-6 receptor inhibitor and is given intravenously once a month.”

No, we can’t let her know about this situation. We have to find another answer.

Sometimes I wonder why it seems to be so difficult to get well. Then, I remember.

I have access to a plethora of pharmaceuticals at a cost of $2 per prescription. Some of the RA medications cost upwards of $1,700. per month, but in my case, the government pays the bill. Thank you, government.

But here’s the thing, I view pharmaceuticals as a win-lose scenario, where the patient is the loser. I prefer the notion that the body will heal itself, once it is given the correct environment to do so.

Unfortunately, the medical system I’m under does not adhere to the; body heal thyself notion, nor, will it tolerate freedom of choice. Sure the government will fork over $1,700 per month for pharmaceuticals, but it won’t cough up a nickel for non-pharmaceutical treatment.

The Sun is on the horizon.

I guess, I have to keep going to find the correct environment for my body to heal itself and forget about trying to figure out why this flare-up is happening.

I need to keep focused on the goal: Make the best of each day no matter what seems to be going on in the moment.

You can do it, Marianne!

A day in a life with rheumatoid arthritis – Part 7- Fat Sick and Nearly Dead – the movie

First off, let me give a big THANKS to all my subscribers and to those who read my blog. I feel very blessed that you liked it enough to click the “follow” feature or “subscribe” in the earlier days.

Blogging helps me to track my experiences as I contemplate and search for a meaningful life. I feel honored when I inspire others with the information I share as it crosses my path. And, the fact that blogging on WordPress makes it so easy, is a bonus.

A few weeks ago, my brother told me about a documentary he watched titled, “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead“. Joe Cross was 100 lbs. overweight and suffered from a rare autoimmune disease. Under medical supervision, Joe went on a 60-day juice fast while he traveled across the United States filming the documentary. Joe spoke to 500 Americans about food and healthy lifestyle. Some took the challenge along with him. One woman found relief from persistent migraines.

According to my brother, the most fascinating part of the video was when Joe Cross found Phil Staples at a truck stop. Phil weighed in at 429 lbs., suffered from the same rare condition and couldn’t stand his situation any longer. According to the descriptive blurb about the trailer, the documentary turned into an inspiring story about two men who realize that “the only person that can save them is themselves.”

Please watch the 5 minute trailer that introduces Joe’s incredible journey. BTW, the doctor you see in the video with Joe is Dr. Joel Fuhrman. Dr. Fuhrman helps patients improve health through nutrition excellence.

If this video intrigued you, I highly recommend a further 2 minute video by Joe on fruit, vegetables and the power of juicing.

I don’t know about you, but after watching the videos, I feel a craving for freshly juiced vegetables and fruits. Joe spreads his message at Join the Reboot.

In a previous post (click here), I mentioned that I noticed a significant improvement in the level of pain and inflammation from RA since I removed gluten and eggs from my diet. In addition, I don’t experience the severe flare-ups as I did before the diet change or the thick heavy achy feeling.

During the last few weeks, I’ve had a number of medical appointments that add further testament that I’m on the right track. Here is the latest news in brief;

Naturopath visit -  live blood cell analysis looked more  normal.

Rheumatologist visit – blood-work results show ESR (detects level of inflammation activity) is down to a manageable level 7 (anything under 20 is considered normal). However, according to my rheumatologist ESR isn’t the only test they use to diagnose inflammatory conditions. While RA symptoms have greatly subsided, it is evident I still have a moderate level of disease activity.

Echo-cardiogram – normal.

I still have a way to go yet to get to where I want to be, but all in all, I think this is wonderful news so far. The elimination of gluten, eggs and the increase in vegetables and fruits, I believe, has contributed to a much improved RA condition.

Here is a recap of the foods I consume on a more or less daily basis. Fresh or frozen organic when possible fruits and vegetables, kefir, sauerkraut, salmon and limited gluten-free eggless baked goods. Recently, I tried adding small amounts of bio-dynamic stewing beef to my vegetable dishes. For cooking I use coconut oil and turmeric. I also take various vitamin supplements and nutritional supports like Vega or a naturopath recommended support.

Plans for the future include to resume juicing and stay consistent with a high daily vegetable intake. I have discovered that I have way less food cravings and hunger attacks when I eat an adequate amount of nutrient rich foods daily.

So, what am I learning? Watching videos from people like Dr.Terry Wahls who cured her MS and Joe Cross who cured a rare autoimmune disease is inspiring and validates that hard-core lifestyle changes are paramount to move the body into balance and health.

Thanks again for reading. Have a wonderful weekend!

Disclaimer: This blog is for informational purposes only and is based solely on my own personal experience. No medical advice is given or intended by the owner of this blog. Please consult a health care professional for advice.

Stand Up, Put your Hands Together and Let’s Sing!

A Facebook friend shared the video “Stand By Me Playing For Change Song Around the World“. The video brought tears to my eyes as I listened to the voices and watched people from around the world singing and playing as One.

The video is full of Love. See if you can feel the love too.

Did you feel the Love? If so, please share and invite others to do the same.

Find out more, visit Playing For Change.com.

Hope you enjoyed this inspiring musical interlude. Thanks so much for visiting.

“After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.” Aldous Huxley

A day in a life with rheumatoid arthritis – Part 6

It’s been a while since I last blogged about my diet experiment. I thought it would be a fitting time to give an update since I have some news to report.

Back in October I geared up to try a new diet in an attempt to manage RA symptoms. Now, I have to tell you that it’s been a bumpy road. I started and stopped, started and stopped…..

The whole idea was to go off foods that have potential for sensitivity and consume a starch based diet consisting mostly of vegetables, fruits, beans, legumes, grains, and starchy vegetables. Foods such as gluten, dairy, corn, soy, eggs, and meat are considered to cause sensitivity in some people, especially those with autoimmune disease. I found this particular diet information during my search for healing from RA (an autoimmune disease) on Dr. McDougall’s website. What impressed me the most were the testimonials, not only for RA, but a host of other chronic disease like Crohn’s (my father had Crohn’s, which is also an autoimmune disease).

I kept detailed notes about what I ate and noted my symptoms. Here’s what I found;

• Significant reduction in joint pain and inflammation.
• Elimination of heavy thick aching feeling in my whole body.
• Greatly reduced number and severity of flare-ups.

I kid you not. I noticed such a difference in the level of my symptoms that I’m a believer now. I admit, I was skeptical that diet would effect my symptoms, but after going on and off, on and off for actually several months now, as I have been experimenting for quite some time with food sensitivities, I’m sold on the idea enough to continue further investigation into longer term effects.

a change in season

Here’s what I eat;

Fruit, vegetables, green leafy vegetables, some beans, quinoa, rice, salmon, a little cottage cheese sometimes and gluten-free baked goods. Also, I take vitamin supplements.

When I stick to the foods mentioned I feel much better.

In addition to the change in diet, I’ve also reduced the meds I take. Currently, I’m at 5mg prednisone daily and 17.5 mg methotrexate weekly. I still can’t get off the acid-blocker and stomach issues come and go. Haven’t figured out what the triggers for that are yet, other than the meds, if there are other triggers.

I’m happy that while diet may or may not be a cure for RA, I had a positive shift in the level of symptoms I experience. It’s been a long tedious process for me because it actually started a few years ago and I’ve dabbled with it since then. The events (click link to read background) of the past year helped to, shall we say, coerce me into getting serious.

Another indication that the change in diet is helpful and the meds are working will take place on January 13th when I have my 3-month Echo-cardiogram to check the pericarditis situation. Hopefully, all will be well.

During the holidays a video crossed my path that further supports the idea that chronic disease is affected by diet. Dr. Terry Wahls used diet to cure her MS and get out of her wheelchair. Please watch as she tells her story and looks at the science behind her amazing discovery.

Disclaimer: This blog is for informational purposes only based solely on my personal experience with the exception of Dr. Wahls video. No medical advice is given or intended by the owner of this blog.